Running on Empty
Have you ever tried to run before you walked? It seems at first that you can keep going as long as you run full ahead without stopping or slowing. If you change your pace, direction, or gait you often find the nearest solid object to slow and/or stop you in your tracks. This can sometimes be painful, leave scars (physical, emotional) and make you a little more careful than you should be later in life. Why is everything so complicated? Can’t you just have everything that you want right now? If you did and didn’t like what you wanted you could just have everything that you wanted right then except for the things you thought you wanted but turned out to be something that you don’t want. You would learn pretty quickly. You would also act from a place of abundance and unlimited potential, rather than a place of scarcity where you had to build up your tolerance and ability to handle more and more of what you think you might want in your life. If it takes too much time, sometimes you forget what you want and why you wanted it in the first place. Perhaps someone changed or corrupted your desire with their own desires and wants. This is the price of getting what you want from someone else. Conveying your desires to someone else often leads to miscommunication, misunderstanding, and an incomplete achievement of your desires.
It also seems than an infinite universe (relative to our understanding of the concept) would not deplete itself to serve a measly 7 billion people. There are more insects than people and they don’t deplete their environment. Now it is a matter of scale. If our planet was of a scale to us that the same planet is to insects, then who knows what would happen.
I’m just trying to expand. We are taught that expansion requires additional energy. That energy is chemical, physical, emotional, monetary, and intellectual. We are taught that it always takes more to get more. If you had more, wouldn’t it simply follow that you would already have more of whatever you are trying to expand. Whether it is your wallet, consciousness, physical capacity, and mental faculties, having more means having more to begin with. You can have it all at once or accumulate it slowly a little at a time like savings. Take a little from other places and energies and put it toward something else that you might want in the future. It seems a curious path seemingly devoid of a concept of mortality.
We only live for so long. Right? None of us know exactly how long. Maybe when we’re done living, maybe an accident, or maybe it’s decided by someone else (not fair play, go live your own life and leave me alone). So it would seem that the game is rigged. Why accumulate any more than is needed to survive, be happy, raise your children to do the same and live safely from the world’s harm? Why do I need electronics, machines, militaries, space programs, national social services and other structures that don’t give me my desires? They give me their desires for me. The fulfillment is not based on my desires. I must have asked indirectly at some point in my life to be taken care of and to have to acquire all the things that I am told that I need to be happy. Well, now I’m asking to not be told, taken care of, or to have what others want for me. I am asking not to be poisoned, controlled, directed, lied to, educated in the ‘right’ thoughts, housed, secured, safe guarded, part of a group/nation/identity. What do these give me? These things are not my desires.
I want what I want. Doesn’t this apply to everyone else? Don’t give me something that I don’t want. I want to run, full steam ahead without stopping. I don’t want to walk your path. I want to grow, expand, live, learn, choose, be, enjoy (have joy), and everything else that I want.
Joy. Do you remember what that is? Try. It is worth it when you find it! You should find it every day. Ask for it every day. Want it every day. That is my desire.
I don’t want to divide my energy to go to my desires. I want my energy to grow. I want to use my energy for my desires and not someone else’s. Why do I have to fulfill their desires before I fulfill my own. If I have more after I’m done, then I will choose whom I will provide it to. So, if you are running on empty, find out whose sucking your extra energy away from your desires.
